yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Enjoy the penises
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Randomize
