Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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