Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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