i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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