so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
