You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
