he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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