I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
