i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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