Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize
