god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
