Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
