Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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