Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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