I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
