Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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