Let me give you a couple reasons why football I probably the gayest thing since musical theater.
1. The guys wear tights. For fuck sake no self-respecting straightman wears tights.
2. They slap each other on the ass. Only reason they aren't making out is because they're wearing helmets.
Hey, at least your girlfriend didnt tell you she was breaking up with you because your "dick doesn't do the trick" like mine did. she's now a lesbian and i got broken up with in rhyme.
Your man card has officially been revoked...please kill yourself quickly so you may end your shame
also, I'm what state has college football begun yet cuz I will moving there pronto
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