The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I want her autograph on my taint
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
