I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
this is an emotional support booty call
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
