Well douche your snatch and let's go!
matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
