We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
