i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
so that wasnt chicken after all
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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