She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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