It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
