wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
