I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
