He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Randomize
