pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
How does one acquire holy water?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
