physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Randomize
