His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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