Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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