what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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