Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
