I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
