Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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