btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
