Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
He did a backflip because drugs
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
