Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
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