you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
