K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Randomize
