good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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