we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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