we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
my poor anus
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
