I wish i was in the wii world.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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