what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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