one two three fourrrrnication!
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Randomize
