im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
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