god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
