I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
