did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
