I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
