hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
