I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
