It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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